It's one week away from when I have to present my work-in-progress on my reflective practice assignment. We have been asked to reflect on a "critical incident" from our professional life and I have to say that I have been spinning with this as I belong to three separate but overlapping professional communities. I have managed to dampen down the panic and let myself mull about the meaning of meaningful incidents. This has produced a lot of writing, some of which has been useful, some rambling and some merely repetitive. A breakthrough was this week when I found myself writing about a major professional incident that happened 18 years ago. I realised that I had not dealt with the feelings that emerged from this and I suspect it has had an effect on how I have approached my work since that time. Arts practice calls for dedication and commitment but sometimes that commitment can translate into self sacrifice to quite a damaging degree. This reflection occurred at the same time as a visiting theatre company ran a session with my undergraduate students. In our tea break discussions, swapping (as theatre pros do) stories, news and gossip, one of the visitors mentioned a director who had struggled endlessly with her company until someone said to her: "you know, you don't have to do this any more. You're a creative person, why don't you go off and create?" She did just this and felt a huge weight lifted from her now that she had permission to stop. The fear of failure had kept her on a difficult and unrewarding path. Moreover, once she had left, her colleagues could review the company's work and take a completely different direction without guilt or challenge.